Who am I – this person blogging about responding to hatred with love, practicing downward mobility at home, and waiting on God in silence in the midst of all kinds of circumstances and trials?
It’s me – a complicated, needy person. Or to put it more melodically:
“It’s me, it’s me, it’s me, O Lord. Standing in the need of prayer.
Not my brother, not my sister, but it’s me O Lord,
Standing in the need of prayer.”
And what characterizes me? Who is this who is “in the need of prayer?”
I made a list to attempt to describe myself:
ambitious and easily discouraged
driven and impatient
addicted to activity
moody and hopeful
critical and honest
compassionate and angry
lonely and defensive
loved and blessed, and
I wrote this out yesterday, and I have to say that reviewing it today was painful.
Let’s just say that I’m practicing “full disclosure” (well, that’s a lie). Let’s say I’m practicing “some disclosure.” I have no illusions, and I hope you don’t either. I’m just a person figuring out a few things late in life, wanting to be a better homo sapien, and wanting to honor God. Sometimes I’m doing well, other times I’m not. The blog is my way to keep track of what I’m learning and attempting to practice – and sometimes, how I’m doing. A lot more happens when I write it down.
It’s a funny title for a song (“Standing in the Need of Prayer”). Prayer – sure, but who is supposed to pray? Is the singer asking for the prayers of others? That’s what it sounds like. Or is she preaching to herself? Or is this just a soulful cry for help – an admission that, “I’m in trouble here!” Or maybe it’s all of these. I’m gonna go with that. That works for me.